[tweetmeme source=”elizabethev” only_single=false]I was in a hideous mood earlier this week (I’d blame lack of sleep over the weekend, but after dressing up like a flying squirrel on Saturday night, I slept until 10 the next morning.). Clark was feeling salty too, mostly because he hates the rain. And because I imagine his moods for him. I figured I’d wallow in my grouchiness, and then get over it. Wallowing, for me, always involves list making.
This is what I came up with.
11 Reasons Why I Hate Fall:
- Fall colors are ugly. Brown? Orange? That’s like a rotting pumpkin. Which brings me to…
- I don’t like the taste of pumpkin.
- Why are people freaking out about pumpkin flavored coffee? And pumpkin beer? And pumpkins?
- I am allergic to wool.
- Boston is full of college students. I feel old. And nostalgic. And old.
- All those leaves on the ground? They’re slippery. I will probably fall.
- I am allergic to something in addition to the aforementioned wool. I don’t know what it is, but it just sprouted or hatched or grew or whatever. I am itchy.
- I dislike squash. And zucchini. I wish berries and tomatoes were perpetually in season.
- I’d rather wear skirts than pants.
- Things always expire in the fall. My parking pass expired on August 31st and my new one was denied because the person at the parking desk thought I was a student pretending to be a grown-up. Then it was approved. Seven days later. I was annoyed. Also, I accidentally ate expired Greek yogurt on Tuesday. Use your imagination. It wasn’t good.
- It’s sort of cold, but sort of hot, and sort of dry, but also humid. My body (specifically, my hair) is confused.
I could have probably continued on to number 12, or number 40, but this whole exercise was not especially helpful. In fact, I felt even more hideous than when I started. I decided to make a second list, wherein I would call fall autumn, because it sounds more lovely. And not unlike a middle school classmate from the late eighties or early nineties.
9 Reasons to Not Hate Autumn
- I am getting married in November (that’s a big one, obviously). When we booked our date, people were like, Ooooh, fall colors! Beautiful! I got a lot of practice burning these same people with my eyes of death. (See number 1 above.) In all seriousness, though, I just cannot wait.
- After the wedding, we get to go on our honeymoon, which is a great way to bring
sexysummer back. Yeah.
- Soccer starts after a two week hiatus (um… our team didn’t make the playoffs last season…).
- Glutino makes a gluten free stuffing. Which means I can freely overeat on Thanksgiving.
- Fall races are less sweaty than summer races.
- Apple picking (not a sentence, but I am going to punctuate it regardless).
- Nick turns 30 this fall, which makes us the same age again, meaning I don’t have to feel creepy for a whole five months. My mother and sister also have fall birthdays. They’re so cute.
- I have jury duty (and inevitably, I will be impaneled, knowing both my luck and inability to make up believable lies)… that’s always interesting. I was on a jury for a medical malpractice case a few years ago and almost fainted.
- Leggings are socially acceptable in certain situations again.
I’m still recovering from the yogurt thing, but my mood has improved. Daydreaming about a honeymoon (and jury duty?) will do that. As for Clark? He still hung up on his singular reason for hating fall: this jacket.
Please don’t call Sarah McLachlan on me.
Also On Tap for Today:
- Voting in the MA state primary
- Coveting these fruit and vegetable drawers
- I’m giving away 2 half marathon entries for 9/16
What do you love most about